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2001-09-05 8:52 p.m.
Mattel can suck it!

During my consultation with my Magic Date Ball tonight (a toy appearing much like a Magic 8 Ball; however pink and glittery instead of black as to appease its targeted pre-teen girls), I asked if I'm a good catch. The response: "You know it, Girl!" I was pleased with my answer. I should have stopped there. Unfortunately, I kept going and shook the ball numerous times after that just to see what other answers this magical ball holds. My findings: The ball actually holds no negative answers as to not upset any seekers of its wise knowledge. This sucks. Life's a jip.

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