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2001-12-29 5:23 p.m.
"Check this out! Her titties light up!"

During a Post-Christmas-Lunch-Bash at my mom's white trash step-family's house earlier today, I heard much discussion of beer and trucks, and witnessed a lighter resembling a nude woman who's chest spouts fire. Prior to our masticating (or in my case, non-masticating) of gumbo and other non-veggie friendly items, we were required by the elders to stand in a circle, grasp hands, and take turns noting something that each of us is appreciative for. Upon my turn, the room fell silent as I accidentally proclaimed, "I'm thankful for gun control." Ooops. Can't wait to see them all next year.

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